T

he slamming of the front door shook the house. Her shrill screams could be heard up and down the block.

“You’re a c*nt. I hate you and I never want to see you again.”

Tears streamed down her face. Rivers streamed down mine.

Eyes peeked out of every window watching the spectacle.

She had accomplished her goal.

My face was red with humiliation.

How could I ever face these neighbors again.

Had I finally gone too far? Deep in my heart of hearts, I KNEW it WAS my fault.

My heart was pounding so loudly I thought it was going to explode.

As my daughter hopped into her friend Janie’s car, she hurled one last dagger.

“You’re a psycho-bitch not a mother.”

No words came to my lips. I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t even breathe.

The silence lasted for less than a second. Behind me, my husband blurted out the words I was dreading.

“She’s right you know. You ARE acting like a psycho-bitch. No one wants to be around you. I’m finished with this.”

He headed out the door dragging a suitcase after him.

He never looked back.

The car door slammed, and he roared off.

My deepest fears just became real.

I collapsed on the couch. I wondered what part of my body ached the most.

I was gutted to my core.

My phone rang. I knew the ringtone, so I ignored it.

She wasn’t calling to sympathize. She had her stiletto sharpened and was looking for a place to jab it.

By now every single neighbor had probably called her with the scoop.

Now her fangs and claws were ready to tear into me.

The phone rang again.

“She’s baaack.” I thought to myself.

The house was as still as a tomb.

I climbed the steps holding the banister for dear life.

My daughter’s room had been plucked clean.

She had been planning this for a while I understood.

So had he.

They probably planned and staged this departure together.

They wanted it to hurt as much as possible.

Our bedroom looked no different than usual until I went into his closet and saw the empty shelves.

I collapsed on the closet floor. And finally answered the ringing phone.

“Hello,” I ventured timidly.

“So, you finally drove them out. What kind of a mother and wife are you?”

Each word was calculated to draw blood.

My blood.

“I’ve been warning you for years this was going to happen. Now you got what you wanted. You’re alone. Are you happy now?”

The phone fell out of my hand.

I saw the future in front of my eyes. I was all alone. No husband. No daughter. No wedding in the back yard. No grandchildren coming to visit.

It was all my fault.

I hated myself.

“I’m ashamed to be your mother. You are completely out of control. Don’t give me any crap about this is quarantine related. You’ve been on a path to this day for years.”

She barked at me.

“And don’t bother calling them. They won’t answer unless you completely change. You hear me?”

I hung up without a snappy answer.

That’s when the voices in my head started their chant.

“You’ve driven away everyone you ever cared about.”

“No one could ever love you.”

“You’re a time bomb waiting to explode.”

I passed the mirror at stared at the stranger who looked back at me.

“You’re a failure.”

“You can never change”

“You have been out of control your whole life.”

There was nothing I could do about it. This is just the way I am.

I knew it was a lie I told myself out of desperation.

The truth was I WANTED to do something about it.

I just didn’t know where to start.

I wondered who I was staring at in the mirror.

It didn’t look like me at all.

I looked into the mirror and a lifeless zombie stared back.

I was such a loser.

I felt like a character in a soap opera.

Someone had written my script for me and given me the worst part.

“They’re never coming back” I shouted to no one.

A scream poured out of my gut like a wounded animal.

I started sobbing all over again.

I cried like I never cried in my life.

There was no one to turn to.

I felt betrayed by everyone around me.

I had hit rock bottom and didn’t see a path to crawl out from.

The kitchen sink was full of dishes from yesterday’s dinner.

That was the final straw.

I had blown up at both of them. Over nothing.

I screamed my venom at them.

They had already planned their response and today they left me alone.

I was out of control.

They were right.

I was angry at the world.

I knew what to do when it was someone else’s fault.

I’d scream like a lunatic. I’d curse. I’d throw things.

And today they finally threw me in the trash.

That’s what I was. I was trash.

I just needed someone to haul me down to the curb.

Just then the phone rang, and I saw it was my doctor’s office. What the heck did they want now?

“Hi this is Robin the nurse from Dr. Pullman’s office. I have the results from your exam and bloodwork and there are a few red flags I need to talk to you about.”

Red flags? Great.

Now I’m going to die, and no one will even come to my funeral.

Robin started to talk non-stop the way nurses sometimes can.

My ears probably heard every third word. Maybe every fourth.

It was a jumble of sounds that wouldn’t even enter my brain.

“high blood pressure…dangerously high”

“cholesterol has risen sky-high”

“weight has gone up significantly.”

“high risk of heart attack or stroke”

It registered that Robin was repeating “are you there?” to me.

I realized I was sobbing into the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Robin inquired.

The floodgates opened.

I told Robin everything.

I told her how I had driven away everyone I loved.

How they had left me and refused all contact unless I changed.

“What is it they want you to do?” Robin asked sweetly.

“THEY WANT ME TO STOP LOSING MY TEMPER!” I roared.

“I can absolutely help you with that,” Robin said kindly.

“I doubt that. I’ve been trying to change for years,” I said.

“I’ve tried everything, and nothing worked.”

Robin hesitated, “Honey, I think all these medical problems will all resolve themselves if we fix this. Will you let me help you?”

I was silent.

I was thinking.

No one else was offering to help me. They abandoned me.

This was the only person offering a kind word and a helping hand.

Slowly I let out a breath and said. “How can you help?”

That’s when Robin revealed something that shocked me.

I had the same problem myself and I tried just about everything. I went to anger management classes, but they were pretty much a waste of time.”

I laughed. “Robin, they threw me out of my anger management class when I blew up at the teacher.”

“Did you take the classes at the Y with that Geeky instructor?” she asked.

“Yes!” He just kept repeating “breath in calm breath out peace.” I fell asleep he was so boring.

Robin giggled.

“So, what did you do instead?” I asked her.

“The first thing I did was start to take yoga classes,” she laughed.

“What’s so funny?” I asked her.

“Well I yelled at the yoga teacher after class. I told him the class was too damn slow.”

“OMG! What did he say?”

Robin answered, “He asked me to come back tomorrow and stay after class for tea. He wanted to talk to me.”

So, I went back and suffered through class until the end when they had a quiet meditation period.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the class was gone.

“I followed him to the front of the studio where he prepared two cups of tea and we sat on cushions. He asked me if I realized how destructive my anger was to my life.”

He told me that instead of starting with yoga I should start with meditation. He told me that my falling asleep was proof my body needed time without stress.

He spent about an hour with me teaching me about the science of meditation and how it worked.

He taught me different breathing techniques, and something called mindfulness.

I interrupted her.

“Something tells me you don’t meditate.”

She giggled again. “You’re right. I thought meditation sounded so great until he told me the bottom line.”

“So why did you stop?” the question burst from my lips.

“First it takes a long time to learn how to meditate correctly. And you probably won’t see results for at least 8 weeks, he said.”

8 weeks? That’s like forever I thought.

“I don’t HAVE 8 weeks. I don’t have 8 days,” I blurted into the phone.

“And,” Robin said, “you need to be able to sit and do nothing for a minimum of 45 minutes to an hour a day.”

“What?” I answered her.

“Who has that time every day? I sure don’t.”

“Hold on, let me finish.” Robin interrupted.

“I think you’ll like the next part. One day I was straightening up the doctor’s office at the end of the day and I found a small vial of pills with no label on them.

“I had never seen them before, so I made a note to ask him about them the next day.”

“Bright and early the next morning I asked Dr. Pullman about the pills and he gave me the lowdown.”

“Years ago, he took off a year after he finished his residency to go to India and study their system of Ayurvedic medicine. While Doc was there, he heard about a part of the country where people never got upset or angry.

He traveled to the Himalayan mountains and found villages where everyone got along without arguing. Doc started talking to the village elders and they hinted there was something special about the water they drank.

Doc got some samples of the water and had them analyzed. It turned out the water was rich in minerals most people had never heard of.

He identified 85 different minerals in the water and headed back up to the Himalayas. As he went to the streams where the locals went to collect that water, he noticed some black rocks.

When he asked the locals about the rocks they smiled and nodded. The rocks were providing the minerals to the water. They handed him a container containing some tiny fragments of the rocks. They motioned for him to take one with a sip of water.

He noticed a sense of peace and calm come over him within minutes. He knew he was on to something.

When Doc got back to the states, he had the rocks made into tablets.

And that morning he gave me two of those tablets.”

I was dying to know. “And what happened when you took them?”

Robin’s enthusiasm was hard to miss. “I had the best day of my life. I didn’t get upset for the first time in my life. My family didn’t recognize me that night. Nothing upset me.”

“And not only was I calmer, I had more energy, focus, and felt better than ever. The next day I went into Doc’s office and begged him for a supply. And he shared some of his stash with me.”

I was silent.

Could my answer really lie in some mineral found in the Himalayan mountains?

“Would you by any chance have any you can spare?” I timidly asked.

Robin said, “Why don’t you come in tomorrow and I’ll give you some and go over the results.”

I started crying all over again.

“Is there any way I could come in today? I need those pills. I really need those pills.”

Robin told me to come in right away. I know I looked like a mess. I ran out without makeup.

I just grabbed my wallet and got in the car and drove.

They were waiting for me at the doctor’s office and rushed me into Robin’s office.

I was so embarrassed when the doctor walked in and said, “So you need my special pills?

“You’re lucky. I just got a shipment of capsules in.”

Robin whispered, “Doc has them made special for us. Here are 14 capsules. Take 2 a day and come back in a week.”

She handed me 2 capsules and a bottle of water. “Cheers!” she said as I downed the two pills.

By the time I walked out of his office. I felt like a new person.

Incredibly I made it home without getting upset at a single driver. No leaning on my horn at traffic lights.

Wait, did I just skip up the steps? I cleaned up the house from top to bottom.

I wasn’t stressed at all.

In fact, I wasn’t worried about my family either. I knew everything was going to be fine.

I made myself a light dinner and got cozy on the couch.

I picked up the phone and made the inevitable call to my mom.

“Hey mom, how’s it going?” I began tentatively.

“Your daughter and husband have been calling me all day. They are worried about you.”

I laughed. “Mom, I’m going to be fine. I went to the doctor’s office and the nurse gave me some pills.”

“I was afraid of that. They put you on medication?”

“No, Mom. Just a supplement that doctor thought would help. And I noticed the change right away.”

“That quickly? What happens tomorrow?”

“I don’t know mom. I’m going to just take it easy tonight and see what happens tomorrow. I just feel really good about it.”

I sent my hubby a text that said. “I love you. Things are going to be different. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Then I sent a different text to my daughter. I chose my words carefully. “I owe you a huge apology. I went to see the doctor today and I already feel different. I’ll call you tomorrow, honey.”

And I went to sleep.

I woke up refreshed. I felt terrific.

There were 2 texts on my phone.

My husband said, “Looking forward to hearing how things are going to be different.”

My daughter was optimistic. “Grandma called me and said you sound totally different. Call me.”

I sent a quick text to my hubby, “Coffee? You know where.”

He sent back a text “10 AM?” I sent back a smiley.

I sent a text to my daughter. “I’ll call you after school. Luv u.”

I took 2 of my pills and a Zen like feeling of peace descended on me.

I got dressed up and went to our favorite coffee place.

I told my husband the entire story of the nurse and the doctor’s journey to India.

He could see I was different.

“And this is a supplement? Not a prescription drug?”

I smiled. “Yes. It’s all natural. And completely safe. I feel terrific.”

We chatted and he watched me the whole time. When someone tripped and spilled their coffee on both of us, he waited for the explosion.

Instead, I got up and got us both napkins and cleaned us both up.

As it drew near the time for him to return to work, he asked. “Can we meet again tomorrow for coffee?”

I said sure and he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek and headed for the door.

I sat there completely relaxed when I heard his voice ask, “How would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

“Of course,” I answered.

“Where would you like to meet?”

He said, “I’ll pick you up at 7” and was off.

I let out a deep breath and called Robin at the doctor’s office.

“These pills are a miracle. I just had a coffee date with my husband, and he asked me out to dinner. These pills don’t wear off, do they?”

Robin laughed. “No, they don’t wear off. I think they balance the minerals our bodies are missing.”

“Does Dr. Pullman ever give these to his patients?”

“Actually, you’re the first. I felt so bad for you I told you about my anger problem. You see, your story could have been my story too.”

“Robin, I want you to know I’m grateful. I’ll see you next week.”

Late in the afternoon, I saw a call from my daughter coming in.

“Mommy, daddy said you didn’t get upset at anything. Even when the man spilled coffee on you.”

“Well honey, he didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”

“And you didn’t yell at him or anything?”

Then she asked a question that made me smile.

“Who kidnapped my mom and replaced her with a new model?”

I laughed and then we started talking about school.

She said, “I hear you have a date tonight.”

I laughed. “I see word spreads. Yes, I have a date tonight.”

I glanced at my watch. “Honey I have to go get dressed for my date.”

The date was magical. I didn’t even notice the food. My husband was just staring into my eyes the whole night with a smile on his face.

“You have no idea how incredible this change is.” as he took my hands in his.

He excused himself to go to the men’s room.

When he returned, we got in the car and went home. He pulled into the driveway and said, “Let me grab my bag out of the trunk.”

I could hardly believe those words. He was moving back in.

As I walked in the door, I heard a shriek, “Mommy!” And my daughter leaped on my neck. I realized my husband must have called her when he went to the “men’s room” and felt a smile light me from the inside out.

We all sat down on the couch and I told them the entire story of Dr. Pullman’s trip to the Himalayan mountains, the water, and the strange rocks he brought back from India.

“Mommy, I think those pills are magical. Can you imagine how life would have been different if you had them years ago.”

My throat went tight remembering all the hurt I caused my family.

“Honey, I’m just going to look ahead and apologize to you about the past.”

But my daughter was on a soapbox.

“Do you realize how many people Dr. Pullman could help if more people could get these pills?”

I knew she had a point.

But inside my heart of hearts, I needed more time to prove it to myself.

Days passed. No more blowups.

My only fear was - would Doc give me more pills when I returned for my next appointment.

I understood that I could help fix things for my family by sharing this discovery with the world.

It was a big step for me.

You see. I’m not a doctor.

I’m just a mom who had a problem.

Could people relate to me if I put myself out there?

Did everyone need to know about my problem?

I don’t particularly like being a public person. Actually, I’m kind of shy.

But then I thought about how difficult my life had been.

And how miserable I had made it for everyone.

I understood that this was something I needed to do for myself And others.

One day my daughter came in a sat at the kitchen table.

“Mom, we have it all figured out…”

She and her girlfriends had already planned out an entire business plan for me to share what they called “The Meditation Pill” with the world.

The old me would have gotten upset that they didn’t even discuss it with me. But the new me realized something.

MY DAUGHTER WAS PROUD OF ME! And smart!

Boy, was that a change.

“There’s just one problem. I don’t know if Dr. Pullman will agree with this.”

Have you ever seen a teenage girl roll her eyes?

Well, she did before she launched into her report.

“We all went down to his office yesterday after school. He told us the name of the key ingredient in the supplement. Plus, he told us how we could get it in the USA or Canada to save shipping from India.”

“And it’s the exact same ingredient?”

Another eye roll; “Mom, it’s what you’re taking now.”

“Okay, what do I do now? I never had a business before.”

She smiled. “Relax. We got this. We ordered a supply of The Meditation Pills. Daddy gave me his credit card. We have a limited supply to see how many people we can help. All my friends want it for their moms too!”

“All I need from you mom is to write up this story and record it in your own voice, so people know it’s real.”

“We learned how to build websites in school. We’ll do it.”

And the video is really me talking. And this is the website my daughter and her friends built.

But there’s just one thing you need to know.

And it’s important.

We only have a small amount of
“the Meditation pills” in stock.

We cannot guarantee we will
be able to get more.

You can get either one bottle, 3 bottles or six bottles.

Let me tell you these pills worked for me and all the women I shared them with.

Now it’s your turn.

Can you imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t get angry ever again?

If everything just rolled off you like water off a duck’s back?

Close your eyes.

See your family closer to you than ever before.

See them opening up and sharing their deepest feelings with you with full trust.

See a calmer happier you.

See a healthier and in control you.

This is only for women who are sick and tired of getting upset with their families.

This is for women who want a loving supporting assist.

This is for women interesting in turning their lives of sadness and feeling isolated and alone into the life of their dreams.

If you’ve listened this far, I know I’m talking to you.

You’re listening to the former most skeptical person in the world.

But there’s one difference. I’ve used these pills for months now.

And you haven’t yet.

So, let me make it super simple.

I want you to love your “Meditation pills.” And if you don’t love them, I want you to send them back to me.

We don’t want your money unless you are 1000% satisfied. Take 60 days to decide.

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So, since I’ve got you covered on my super generous guarantee, the only thing you have to lose is your anger.

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What’s it worth to you to know you’ll never get angry again? A future of wonderful relationships and love is ahead of you.

Go ahead and order right now while you’re right on this page.

This is my honest story and now it’s your turn to discover “The Meditation Pill”.


Amanda L. James

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